Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in Ilja Kamps' LiveJournal:

Monday, June 4th, 2007
10:04 pm	Well, I am still alive As most people who know me should know, I am still alive (don't worry). I guess I should post more regularly (hrm, 2 year intervals) to LiveJournal, but I am kind of afraid someone might actually read this. (the only real reason I am posting right now because meeting yvonne84 on the train reminded me I had this account). I guess since the last post of mine somethings changed, work tired the hell out of me, one incredibly silly relationship (she is still a good friend though). Somethings never change though, I am still looking for a goal in life and something to do and the world still bores the hell out of me. (Comment on this)
Monday, January 24th, 2005
8:37 pm	Down and pissed at me For some reason I am very much pissed off at myself (lovely). The some reason to me seems to be pretty clear, I am entirely unsure about myself and about myself in relations. I have never had a girlfriend, I know it sounds pathetic, but the thing is, I don't fall in love with girls who are impossible by being distant, but by being at least as shy as I am. There is/was one girl on who I had a crush for many years, but sadly we just became friends, as she seemed not interested at all in any serious relation (maybe a good thing, I am not sure it would have worked out). Of course I came to this conclusion when I met another girl, who I should probably not go after, she is a lot younger then me, but she is so cute, I HATE myself for being unable to decide anything on this. I mean it should be so simple, but it isn't, any moment I am not busy working on things I think about it, I even dream about it. Those two girls both being FOAF doesn't help either. I feel like crying, I feel painful, as down as I haven't felt in years. I feel like I can run around the world in anger, yet can't move a bit from pain. I am going to regret posting this, but I will post it anyway, else I will never say this in public, I normally am the shy silent self reflecting guy, but that doesn't work..... (This post might disappaer in a few hours/days, save it yourself if you want to re read it) Current Mood: depressed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, October 10th, 2004
12:51 am	Back again I'm still alive, I just don't dare post on livejournal about the matters that have been busying my life for some reason, I guess because everyone of my friends knows me as Ikarus. I'm finally going to be taking drivers lessons, with a first try-out on wednesday, I hope I don't go mad from the stress (as usual for me...). Then well, I'll have to see what I will do with my life. With a bit of luck I will be helping Pai (a friend of mine, who's realname I won't mention) with a webcomic, he already send me the script for the first few comics and I have hacked up a simple website for it. But job wise I am not sure of any future. Currently I am keeping myself busy with a bit of "teaching" work helping students at a school use Linux, program, etc. Current Mood: apathetic Current Music: (collection) anime-ost (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Monday, June 3rd, 2002
11:20 pm	Random bable about life long time since I posted (which makes sense as I have more of a life now). Finally going to some kind of school, next thursday someone from Philips Origin (?) is coming to that school with possible educational unpaid jobs (whatever that is in english, in dutch it is "stage"). Also going to setup a sorircd website because it is going slowly (and getting flamed to death by Egid now for talking code) Current Music: Roxette - Soul Deep (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 3rd, 2002
6:49 pm	Crappy as usual Well, sorted part of my life out only to fall back into my old routine of never finsihing things..., I really REALLY hate myself for that behaviour, but it keeps happening.... (Comment on this)
Monday, December 17th, 2001
5:28 am	A license war is terrible for your sleep Had trouble sleeping tonight due to a license war on the wine-devel mailinglist spawned from the fact that Transgaming didn't release its DCOM stuff under the X11 license immediatly, but it turned into a maybe relicense wine to LGPL and force all those companies..., I would say that it should stay X11 licensed so more companies would use it, but I do see the reasoning (wich is brings up the issue, can wine get a large company to keep it alive if Corel decides to drop the hosting of the server and related). I hope this war is over soon, and all is back together under X11 licensing.. Current Mood: blah (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 24th, 2001
1:56 pm	Went to the HCC dagen today, but my bank screwed up so I couldn't get anything big, a real shame, I'm trying to get one of my other computers to work now, while also hacking at wine a bit (Comment on this)
Friday, November 23rd, 2001
3:48 am	Got up at an impossible time as usual, 23:00 in the night, been surfing around and mudding a bit, hope to do some coding, but that is just a hope, Wine printing is really starting to annoy me (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 22nd, 2001
4:13 am	Hmmm, it is early in the morning and I'm watching movies :D, okay that is a bad idea, but I like it (Comment on this)
12:38 am	Busy hacking and feeling crap Finally took the time to get the hang a bit of C, I'm trying to do some printer modifications for it, not yet successful, I should say the original coder was a bit high I guess. I didn't feel that well today, but the reason why is a bit to personal to describe here, but I guess if you would know me you can figure out why... Current Mood: crappy Current Music: Roxette - Go To Sleep (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 25th, 2001
10:18 pm	Today was boring and un eventful, was playing on a mud most of the day but didn't do anything else except made a nice quiche. I almost totally ignored my mom, I CAN'T STAND HER, the last couple of days it was worse then normal... Current Mood: bored Current Music: Therion (Comment on this)
Monday, September 3rd, 2001
4:17 am	Great, now I finally have a journal, now I don't know what to put in here, well actually I do, but I don't know how to putit :D (hmmmm, I sound like me so it might actually be a good thing :P ) Current Mood: embarrassed Current Music: After Forever (2 Comments |Comment on this)